Non-conformity at nursery

I've been thinking more about the parents evening; more specifically about him not doing as he is asked in regards to the 'teacher-led' activities;

I always thought of Kayne as someone who conforms, he will 99% of the time obey what we tell him and don't have many problems. I do notice he manages to talk around other people - My parents, Mark's parents. He is so able linguistically that it's easy to be won over by his reasons and explanations if you aren't one step ahead all the time.
I'm not sure why he is apparently not doing as she asks? Maybe that is the reason - she gives him a choice - not that i feel children should be forced into doing things, but this is where we have difficulties. He understand the subtle difference between when you say:

Kayne could you get that for me, please? and: Kayne get that for me, please? The first one will always be replied with 'I can't' and the second.... 'Ok mummy'

I guess the skills we have built up through trail and error are almost natural for us now. To know which words to use and not to use. To know how to word everything just right so as not to have problems later. Everything must have a reason that satisfies his internal questioning. I find it easier to have worked out all these answers in advance so i don't have to listen to the endless questions when we are out; well at least then i have time for all the other questions he asks.

His memory is something else that creates complexity, he remembers EVERYTHING. I wish that I had his memory. He can remember our holiday from last year and what we did; bowling is something he remembers; and he isn’t confusing it with something else as we have never been bowling with him before or since then. It’s his memory that has taught him to read; pure shape recognition. We have always joked that it is like he has a photographic memory, some days he shows that that idea might actually be true.
But this just makes it harder for the nursery – he isn’t going to play with things if he feels he has exhausted all he can from that object (hence why we have so many damn toys!!). He isn’t going to do more work that is the same or similar. He only needs one or two examples to get the basics of lots of things.

He learnt all the basic phonic sounds in 10 days!

I think that I’m going to have to watch him in a session and see what he is doing there – that’s going to be the only way I can see what is happening and work out what they can do to improve this. I get the feel that her way will be point blank authority and that doesn’t work with Kayne very well, he will dig his heels in if he thinks he can get an inch.

Well i hope that if i can see it then i can give some insight into why this is happening. Even if they do nothing about it i can atleast judge whether it is something to be worried about.